The New Aleph, Featuring Tom Green, Composing, 08/06/2014

An unexpected resemblance sparks a meditation that can
bring new meaning to our lives.
I never thought I looked like Tom Green, and I don't but it seems that our visages converge when he's in cartoon form. I almost feel like a Borges story could be written about this. After she notices my resemblance to the Tom Green cartoon, my girlfriend posts this hilarious picture to Facebook, and I've sent a tag request to the Tom Green fan page. After we're tagged together, Tom Green starts being mistaken for me by random strangers on the street, even though I'm not even that famous. I'm just an author/editor starting his first, patchy book tour this summer, and he was a beloved teenagers' entertainer.

He tracks me down and visits my apartment, to figure out exactly what is happening. I feel privileged to meet one of the heroes of my youth, but I'm equally perplexed about his predicament. Eventually, I realize that the mysterious, spherical portal under my bathroom sink might have something to do with this strange activity. Clearing away a stack of toilet paper and some cleaning products, we lean in toward the rotating globe suspended in space, and can just barely make out an image of myself in 1999, 16 years old, sitting on the couch in the upstairs den of my mother's house, watching the Tom Green Show and laughing uproariously at the Cow Brain Boat sketch.

Thank you, says Tom.

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